Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Baby Eliot--99 Balloons

*

I found this video through Elliot's Blog (which is a domaining blog not connected to Baby Eliot).

This inspirational story will bring tears to your eyes.

______________________________________________________________


______________________________________________________________


IgniterMedia says,

To download this video go to ignitermedia.com.

Eliot was born with an undeveloped lung, a heart with a hole in it and DNA that placed faulty information into each and every cell of his body. However, that could not stop the living God from proclaiming Himself through this boy who never uttered a word.

Check out NinetyNineBalloons.com for more information about Eliot.

Our videos are created as sermon illustrations and should be purchased for use in small groups, churches, assemblies, etc. Downloads and DVDs are available at www.ignitermedia.com.
*

Monday, September 15, 2008

Nomi's Secret Sarah Palin Name (Thanks to the Generator!)

http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

I seriously lucked out:

Creation Schwarzkopf Palin


With a name like that, I would be fully employed, insured, published. You name it.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Gov. Sarah Palin Approves Aerial Gunning of Wolves in Alaska

*
______________________________________________________

The Wolves Heart Will Go On



linwau says,

WARNING

This video contains pictures and videos of wolves that were murdered.

Got tired of all you immature hunters posting comments about blasting wolves to bits. No one cares that you're proud of killing an endangered animal. I'm sorry it's so hard for you to keep you pathetic comments to yourself.

I pity you for your lack of self control.

Alright, You guys have no idea how much the Bush/Cheney Administration upsets me. I mean, I just want to scream at them. So many wolves have and will be slaughtered this year, because they allow it.

It's just not right.

It's sick.

These animals are still on the endangered list, and now will have to stay longer. Humans have been killing them for YEARS, isn't it just about time to back off?
Leave the wolves alone.

If anyone deserves to be hunted and killed it's humans, no other animal has destroyed the world as much as us.

www.savewolves.org

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2006/08...

It's really a terrible world.

Three years from now, Will we still have wolves?

______________________________________________________


This graphic video is difficult to watch; these beautiful animals are being slaughtered by humans who are engaging in "aerial gunning," which gives unfair advantage to hunters with big guns and huge vantage point. I snarked about this on my site Snark.me.

I tried driving home a point with biting humor, but I have to tell you: this practice isn't funny at all.

The video speaks for itself.

*

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Is Sarah Palin REALLY the Best the G.O.P. Could Do????

*
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin
____________________________________________________________


I'm going to take some vast liberties here and post an email verbatim from MoveOn:

Did you watch Sarah Palin's speech last night? The speech told us a lot about her.

It told us that she can distort the facts and deliver mean-spirited zingers with the best of them. It told us that if Rush Limbaugh or Ann Coulter ever need a stand-in, she'd be a great pick.

It told us that she can be condescending and dismissive of the real work Barack Obama did helping real people on the South Side of Chicago. It told us that she can uphold the long Republican tradition of lying about Democratic tax cuts—even though Obama's plan would give Americans a bigger break than McCain's.

But the speech—written by one of President Bush's speechwriters—didn't tell us the truth about Sarah Palin's extremist positions. And the more that people know her far-right views, the less they support her. (There's a partial list below.)

One of the best ways to get the word out about Palin is to write a letter to the editor of your local paper. Today's a great day to write because this is very relevant—it just happened last night. Plus, our online tool makes it easy and has great tips. Please take a few minutes to write a quick letter to the editor now:


Palin's speech and the reaction to it also made clear why McCain picked her. It wasn't a decision about who's most qualified to serve a heart-beat away from the presidency—it was a political decision about pleasing the far-right base of the Republican party.

Writing a letter to your local paper is a great way to make sure voters understand that. The opinion pages are the most widely-read pages of the newspaper. Write today, and your letter's a lot more likely to get published because it's so topical. It'll help sway the editorial board too.

Here are a bunch of points you might want to include in your letter:

--Palin recently said that the war in Iraq is "God's task." She's even admitted she hasn't thought about the war much—just last year she was quoted saying, "I've been so focused on state government, I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq." 1, 2

--Palin has actively sought the support of the fringe Alaska Independence Party. Six months ago, Palin told members of the group—who advocate for a vote on secession from the union—to "keep up the good work" and "wished the party luck on what she called its 'inspiring convention.'" 3

--Palin wants to teach creationism in public schools. She hasn't made clear whether she thinks evolution is a fact. 4

--Palin doesn't believe that humans contribute to global warming. Speaking about climate change, she said, "I'm not one though who would attribute it to being manmade." 5

--Palin has close ties to Big Oil. Her inauguration was even sponsored by BP. 6
--Palin is extremely anti-choice. She doesn't even support abortion in the case of rape or incest.  7

--Palin opposes comprehensive sex-ed in public schools. She's said she will only support abstinence-only approaches.  8

--As mayor, Palin tried to ban books from the library. Palin asked the library how she might go about banning books because some had inappropriate language in them—shocking the librarian, Mary Ellen Baker. According to Time, "news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire Baker for not giving "full support" to the mayor." 9

--She DID support the Bridge to Nowhere (before she opposed it). Palin claimed that she said "thanks, but no thanks" to the infamous Bridge to Nowhere. But in 2006, Palin supported the project repeatedly, saying that Alaska should take advantage of earmarks "while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist." 10
The plain fact of the matter is that Sarah Palin did a bang-up job delivering a Karl Rove-style political attack speech last night. That makes her a skilled politician but it doesn't make her views any more palatable for voters. Americans don't really want another far-right, anti-science ideologue in the White House.

Please help get the word out about where Sarah Palin really stands on the issues.


Thanks for all you do.

–Nita, Ilyse, Wes, Karin and the rest of the team

P.S. If you haven't seen it, check out the Daily Show clip on Palin. It's worth a watch:

_________________________________________________________



MoveOn
_________________________________________________________

Sources


1. "Palin: Iraq war 'a task that is from God'," Associated Press, September 3, 2008.

2. "Palin wasn't 'really focused much' on the Iraq war," ThinkProgress, August 30, 2008.

3. "The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008.

4. "McCain and Palin differ on issues," Associated Press, September 3, 2008.
5. Ibid.

6. "The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008.

7. Ibid.

8. Ibid.

9. "Mayor Palin: A Rough Record," Time, September 2, 2008.

10. "The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008.

_________________________________________________________
*

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Passage from Willa Cather

This is from Death Comes For The Archbishop (c. 1927, Willa Cather; c.1955, The Executors of the Estate of Willa Cather)Vintage Books, New York, p. 50.

Father Vaillant began pacing restlessly up and down as he spoke, and the Bishop watched him, musing. It was just this in his friend that was dear to him. "Where there is great love there are always miracles." he said at length. "One might almost say that an apparition is human vision corrected by divine love. I do not see you as you really are, Joseph; I see you through my affection for you. The Miracles of the Church seem to me to rest not so much upon faces or voices or healing power coming suddenly near to us from afar off, but upon our perceptions being made finer, so that for a moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear what is there about us always."

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Women 4 McCain -- A Must See Site.

With all due respect, please visit the following:

http://www.womenforjohnmccain.com/

I found this site on the powerful, passionate list of my General J.C. Christian
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/

His post today poses that vital question: Is Obama Secretly Amish?

What more can we say?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Now Supporting Barack Obama


I am a former Hillary Clinton supporter.

I say "former" because Hillary has looked at the delegate numbers and has decided to support Barack Obama. However, I have no less regard for Hillary Clinton than I did back in March when I decided to vote and support her. In fact, my respect and regard has actually increased.

But in June 2008, Hillary did the right thing because we need change, and we need it fast. We need to elect a Democrat for the White House because Bush war policies and economics are not working! And John McCain, although an admirable man and great war hero, promises more of the same.

I admire Obama tremendously; he has run a hard and fair campaign, and as the new kid on the block, he has defied conventional wisdom. Back in 1992, I remember another new kid who rose through the political ranks to beat George H.W. Bush in November 1992: William Jefferson Clinton.

For those of you who feel that Barack Obama is too inexperienced to hold the highest office of the land, just remember that President Bill Clinton was also a bit green, so that argument doesn't hold much water.

Throughout the primary (even while rooting for Clinton), I observed Obama and his poise under fire. I kept thinking, "Doesn't this man ever stumble?" Yes, there were a few bumps, and the media were hard on both candidates, but even I could see that they seemed even harder on Obama.

While it might be easy to dismiss Obama as just another fine orator, he also offers the substance that our country sorely needs. Quite frankly, he and Hillary weren't all that apart. Both support:

  • The end of this ghastly Iraqi war.


  • A universal health care system.


  • Fewer entitlements to big business, and more for the deserving poor and beleaguered middle class.

So won't you join me and other Hillary Clinton supporters now to support Barack Obama?

I have set up a new website: ObamaPresident.org. Also, don't forget to check out Obama's official site: BarackObama.com.

In closing, I have one political regret in my life. Back in 1976, as a young Democrat, I campaigned hard for Henry "Scoop Jackson; I was in charge of his campaign headquarters in my city, and I stumped hard for him. When he lost the Pennsylvania primary, I was so angry that my candidate lost that I refused to support Jimmy Carter. Fortunately, despite my lack of support, Jimmy Carter became President Carter.

Still, if I could go back in the wayback machine to November 1976, I would change my vote from Gerald Ford to James Earl Carter, Jr.

*

Friday, June 13, 2008

Tim Russert, 1950-2008

Tim Russert, 1950-2008. Integrity in Journalism



Tim Russert, 1950-2008. Integrity in Journalism

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Eliot Asinof Died Yesterday

At the risk of screwing up the link, I attempt to post the link to the obituary in today's New York Times by Daniel Weber.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/11/sports/baseball/11asinof.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Vogon Poem Generator: The Emperor



I generated the following poem using the BBC Vogon Poem Generator.

I provided the keywords, the generator spit out a poem. I didn't change a thing.

What do you think?


See, see the Extremely dead sky
Marvel at its big fuschia depths.
Tell me, The Emperor do you
Wonder why the Walrus ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel Monstrous.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your attaflatic facial growth
That looks like
A Green spaghetti sauce.
What's more, it knows
Your beeswax potting shed
Smells of dollar.
Everything under the big Extremely dead sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm Century Plants.
__________________________________

Is it art?

Monday, May 19, 2008

WARNING (Off-topic): From the I.R.S.--NOT

On Sunday, I received the following piece of email purporting to be from the I.R.S.:



Over 130 million Americans will receive refunds as part of President Bush program to jumpstart the economy.

Our records indicate that you are qualified to receive the 2008 Economic Stimulus Refund.

The fastest and easiest way to receive your refund is by direct deposit to your checking/savings account.

Please click on the link and fill out the form and submit before May 19th, 2008 to ensure that your refund will be processed as soon as possible.

Submitting your form on May 19th, 2008 or later means that your refund will be delayed due to the volume of requests we anticipate for the Economic Stimulus Refund.

To access Economic Stimulus Refund, please click here.

[Link removed--should you click on this link, you would be directed to this site: www.smfarms.com/catalog/images/hewlett_packard/.refund.php--definitely not the I.R.S.


Gmail also removed the URL from "click here."]

© Copyright 2008, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.
__________________________________________

Despite some of the grammatical errors, this email is very convincing because the sent info specified "service@irs.gov" as the actual sender. To give gmail its just due, the message contained the following warning (Highlighted in bold red):

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more. [This link shows how you can check your gmails for validity.]

Here is the code I found when I clicked on to "Show original":

Delivered-To: [Deleted]
Received: by [Deleted] with SMTP id u1cs271976wfu;
Sun, 18 May 2008 10:23:31 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by [Deleted] with SMTP id [deleted];
Sun, 18 May 2008 10:23:30 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path:
Received: from dollman-enterprises.com (mail.dollman-enterprises.com [68.105.207.240])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP id h8si9853846wxd.26.2008.05.18.10.23.29
;
Sun, 18 May 2008 10:23:30 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: fail (google.com: domain of service@irs.gov does not designate 68.105.207.240 as permitted sender) client-ip=68.105.207.240;
Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=hardfail (google.com: domain of service@irs.gov does not designate 68.105.207.240 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=service@irs.gov
Received: from User ([76.202.29.82]) by dollman-enterprises.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211);
Sun, 18 May 2008 13:23:28 -0400
From: "service@irs.gov"
Subject: 2008 Economic Stimulus Refund ( $1800 )
Date: Sun, 18 May 2008 12:24:23 -0500
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1251"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000
Bcc:
Return-Path: service@irs.gov
Message-ID:
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 18 May 2008 17:23:28.0887 (UTC) FILETIME=[E3464070:01C8B90B]
_______________________________

I must admit, this particular scam message caught my eye, although I did NOT fall for it.

Just remember: you need only to file your U.S. Federal tax return to receive your economic stimulus check.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Thought for the day (Overheard on Cold Case)



Bombing for peace is like humping for virginity.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

You Are Invited! (What Happens When the Fat Lady Sings)


You Are Invited!

---------

WHO:
The Mallorys, Bacons, O’Flahertys, etc.

WHAT:
Family Reunion.

WHEN:
June 20, from 10:30 a.m. to ?????

WHERE:
The Lake.

COST:
A favorite dish, plus $25.00 per couple, $7.50 per child, to help defray the cost of renting The Northwest Quadrant of the Winnehaha Pavilion.

RSVP:
Sally Millhouse, (712) 555-1234

SPECIAL NOTE:
We’ll be sitting for family portraits!
________________________________


Follow Samantha as she prepares for the family reunion. As she hunts for artifacts for the family display, she finds this old letter:


Oct. 29, 1959 (I am sorry this is late)

Dear Auntie,

Thank you for the $10 for my birthday. I will buy a pretty red pink blue dress you will like (I hope). I am skinney now, dr. Noonan put me on a strick diet (ugh!). Lettuce, cellery and cottage cheese.

I HATE

Mrs. Niles died last month, Nana says she wieghed over 500 lbs, I would DIE if I weighed over 500 lbs. I am in the St. Bonyfi Boniface chior now, we sang at Mrs. Niles funneral.

L♥ve Sammy

PS: Nana says Mrs. Niles was buried in a piano crate!

(Samantha Anne Mallory, age 9)


C'mon in!

This is a must-attend event!

A command performance!

The family awaits you!


Go to Quillery.com

About Quillery

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Court Terminates 8-year-old Girl's Marriage

Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was a six-year old girl living in Los Angeles. Coming from an extremely dysfunctional family, I pretty much ran around on the streets at all hours (often taking my 22-month-old sister with me) and went to school when I felt like it (although, surprisingly, I didn't cut all that much). I stole trinkets from a local store and snatched dimes from my mother's makeup case and didn't think twice about it.

For a six-year-old, I was fairly street savvy, my moral compass obviously skewed.

Once a 12-year-old boy threatened to "do" things to me, and I simply went home and plucked a butcher knife from the kitchen drawer and hunted him down. When I found him, I pointed the knife at him, and said, "If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to stick this knife in your gut and twist it." I never had a problem with him again.

I was fearless, yet wary of strangers. Once, a man tried luring me into following him; he rolled two sugar cubes to me, but only after he had saturated them with something from an eye-dropper. I swear he wore a fedora and raincoat--what a cliche.

I realized something was wrong; I took off like a rabbit and didn't look back. I often wonder if I would be here today if I had followed that stranger.

Fortunately, my grandparents rescued me from my mother and worked very hard at instilling good Catholic values into me. The Catholic part sort of fell by the wayside, but I no longer steal from little shops and relatives, and I haven't threatened to gut anyone lately. Back in Sioux City, Iowa, I reverted back to the child I should have been all along.

This story showed up in my email box, under Reuters' Oddly Enough reports; I'm not all that sure that this situation qualifies as an "oddity." It seems all too common these days, with cults marrying off their minor daughters to old men and young children of both sexes being sexually molested. I can only imagine this eight-year-old girl has endured in a "marriage" to a man who not only sexually assaulted her but also beat her up. At six, I had no idea about sex, but my street radar had warned me that all was not right. But I had a choice: I could escape. The eight year old had to petition the Yemeni court for her freedom, and her parents had to "pay" the poor "husband" $250.00 compensation. What an insult; that prick should have been thrown into jail, not paid off.

I have never understood the appeal of an 8-year-old girl or boy in terms of sexual pleasure. In fact, I find the very idea repulsive; I'm sure most rational people feel the same way.

While this particular story may seem especially egregious, young girls and boys have been exploited from the beginning of the human race.

On one website I frequent, there is a prominently-placed public service ad: "Stop Human Trafficking"--an admirable goal for sure--but the field itself (domaining) is filled with boy wonders who think nothing of hiring Playboy bunnies and scantily dressed young women for conference entertainment. I believe that "Stopping Human Trafficking" begins at home, not in some foreign country, that the exploitation of young women, barely out of puberty, is part of the problem.

However, we live in a culture where the young are placed on some kind of strange pedestal, particularly young girls being sexualized at a young age: make up, revealing clothes, dating at 10 and even younger. These kids have no idea that they may be setting themselves up for a pedophile's trap, so it's up to parents to keep an eye on their kids and out of harm's way.

In today's climate, we are told to "be accepting" of other cultures and their ethnic traditions, but one that exploits minor children in a sexual way doesn't deserve any respect--that includes marrying off 12-14 year olds to creepy old men who already have multiple wives.

Anyway, the Reuters' story gave me a chill.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Future of Post Foetry? (Or Does Your Mother Wear Army Boots?)


Who knows?

Right now, I'm busy getting Poets.net off the ground, so I'm neglecting my other blogs, including this one. I doubt very much if I'll abandon this blog; I just feel too connected to it and the name, which was the brainchild of Christopher Woodman, who, yes, posts as ACommoner on poets.org.

During the summer of 2008, I'm going to develop (with professional help) Poets.net into a forum format with the current Poets.net blog as a subdomain. I haven't figured out what forum template I plan to use. It needs to be fairly uncomplicated to manage.

I see Post Foetry emerging as a personal blog, which, in many ways, it already is. This blog never did find a definitive voice, which seemed to reflect my mood at any given time. Lousy mood, cranky post. Euphoric mood, soaring post.

Poets.net exudes an angry voice, at least for now. I bought the domain in a moment of red-hot anger, but I have no regrets. Money comes and goes--integrity, I hope, hangs around.

My eventual goal for Poets.net: to develop a place for the silenced poet and writer. The outsider. The naive. The non-connected/non-MFA'er. Even the less accomplished poet who still believes that poetry [dot] com is a valid credit. Criticize the company that deceives these aspiring poets, never the poet.

A place for poets and writers at all stages of their careers.

If someone wants to bitch about the literary establishment and his/her suspicions about the state of the po-biz, then so be it. Bitch away--it's your right, one that I'll freely grant.

Silencing comes in many guises, outright censoring being the most egregious.

But there are other kinds of silencing, for example, the kind that comes wrapped up in "policy." You see, how one interprets policy is strictly in the eye of the beholder. In the past two weeks, I have seen poets and writers being scolded and "pruned" for the silliest interpretations of "libel" (some people don't understand that libel does not exist when Truth is involved, as is the case with Tupelo, Jorie Graham, and Iowa) and the following:

"Avoid language or statements that can be considered pornographic, racist, threatening, inflammatory, hateful, insulting, or violent." (poets.org sticky)

To be honest, I saw nothing in the "pruned" posts that fell under those categories. Some might say that "foetry" was insulting others, but I see egregious insults as out and out name calling, such as, "Your mother is a boot-wearing prostitute who turns tricks at Yankee Stadium" or the "Fatty, fatty, two-by-four, couldn't fit through the bathroom door" ditty that was hailed at me when I was a kid.

I didn't see any of that on poets.org--just a lively, sometimes heated debate about censorship. I wasn't even insulted when my spelling was corrected in a somewhat snarky manner. So what. Big deal. Your mother wears army boots, so there.

"While we value freedom of expression, we also value the comfort and sanctity of this space for everyone. We expect that certain topics may lead to contention and debate, and will not prevent users from expressing their opinions, as long as they can be articulated and debated in a rational, calm, and informed manner." (poets.org sticky)

What I saw in those excised threads was a lively discussion among writers with differing viewpoints. It was also the most active thread in an otherwise quiet forum. ACommoner wanted to discuss his banishment from the P&W Speakeasy forum, which, in my opinion, is a valid topic to bring to a forum that serves writers. I don't see how naming names when stating facts constitutes libel or offends anyone. It seems to me that sweeping inequities under the rug is much more offensive than laying them out there for everyone to critique.

What I saw was a bunch of admins and mods exerting their power over the powerless, you know, the petty pencil-pushing bureaucrat who loves to make a citizen's life miserable because she can. And does. And will.

But what do I know?

I suppose I know enough to start a counterculture forum, one that emphasizes freedom of expression over politeness and personal opinion.

I really didn't *need* a fancy domain name; I suppose I could have morphed Post Foetry into a forum, but being the flawed person that I am, I was seduced by the possibility of having a short and memorable domain name.

One truism I have discovered in the blogosphere: it's difficult building traffic unless one is willing to use "black hat" methods, which I'm not willing to do, such as *buying* links and traffic, employing pop-up ads, and spamming all over the place.

I'll do it the old fashioned way: build a place people want to visit and stay so that, in turn, Google will begin to see this is a space worth ranking, so more people will drop by--maybe even go viral.

And, yes, I have incorporated Google ads; there is nothing wrong with off-setting costs with a little revenue.

I love capitalism; it's The American Way.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Poets.net Up and Running NOW

Now seems to be the right time to get the Poets.net forum going; issues regarding the code of silence surrounding anti-establishment literary ideas and information are just too important to put off for some future time.

Yes, poets.org has "unbanned" certain members, but who knows how long that will last? Legally, they have the right to ban anyone they wish, but, then, why bother offering a public forum at all?

Poets.net will follow The Public-Forum Doctrine, thus, not censoring unpopular viewpoints, even if the admins and mods disagree, and controversial information.

Within the next few days, Poets.net forum will be up and running, and you will be able to post whatever is on your mind on a given topic.

Temporarily, the forum will be in blogger mode, and I will be starting some threads, which will appear under "Threads and Labels" below. You will be able to find a thread simply by looking for it and then clicking on it.

If you have some ideas for additional threads, please email me, and I will add them--along with your attributed or anonymous commentary.

In some ways, the blogger format will be easier in that you will not need to join in order to post. Also, you may post anonymously; I am going to trust (for now) that posters will post their comments in a way that will promote open intellectual discussion and reserve general snark and self-promotion for the Smackdown and Shameless Self-Promotion threads.

I have temporarily disabled the captcha feature; thus, you will be able to post freely. However, if automated sp@m becomes a problem, I will have to enable captchas.

The down side of a blogger forum: you will not have access to a private message function.

So are you ready yet?
..

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What is in Whose Pocket?

On March 10, it was announced that poetry was going mobile.

Poetry in your pocket, or Poets.org in poetry's pocket?

One wonders...

Poets.net Forum to be Launched Summer 2008



A new Poetics forum will be launched in Summer 2008.

For more information, go to the Poets.net construction page.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Gov Spam: The Bush Dimension


In a memo to the State Department

made public by the White House,

Bush said:


I hereby

find

that the furnishing

of defense articles

and defense services

to Kosovo

will strengthen

the security

of the United States

and

promote world

peace.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Spam Lit: The Ivory Dimension


I am

an alive young

man

in

ivory dimension

which seeks

to correspond

with

the skin flick

actors
_______________

Uh, okay. Whatever.
I couldn't possibly make this stuff up,
might I try.
________________________________________

Monday, March 10, 2008

Academy of American Poets Launches First Mobile Poetry Site

Percy Dovetonsils (Ernie Kovacs) and his iPhone
________________________________

Poetry has gone mobile! I have just received the following press release from Poets.org

Introducing Poets.org In Your Pocket

March 10, 2008—Today, the Academy of American Poets announced the launch of a mobile poetry archive which provides free and direct access to the entire collection of over 2,500 poems on Poets.org, as well as hundreds of biographies and essays, all in the palm of a hand.

On the web at:
poets.org

No Computers, No Books, No Wires

Designed using Web 2.0 Internet Standards and Apple's Developers Guidelines, the site is optimized for the iPhone, and formatted for effortless access on most mobile devices. Now, for the first time, mobile users have unlimited access to the rich resources of Poets.org, one of the largest poetry destinations on the web, a site which has steadily expanded and evolved since it was first launched over a decade ago.

Pioneering Poetry

"I have always believed that poetry has a necessary place in daily life," said Tree Swenson, executive director of the Academy of American Poets. "As the first arts organization to offer mobile content, the Academy of American Poets affirms its imperative to connect people to poetry by creating free and simple access for everyone. Ezra Pound said, 'Literature is news that stays news,' and now you can find poems while on the go, as easily as you can read the news, find a map, or check the weather report."

Woo or Woe on the Go

Poems can be browsed by author, title, occasion, or form, and searched easily by keyword. Visitors can read a poem, anytime, anywhere—whether to fill a spare moment, woo a darling, toast a friend, find solace, or recite a few immortal lines—verse is now at your fingertips.

Poetry in Your Pocket

This new mobile archive offers unlimited access to Poets.org just in time for National Poetry Month in April, a month long celebration of poetry and its vital place in American culture, which was inaugurated by the Academy of American Poets in 1996. On April 17, mobile users can instantly celebrate the first national Poem In Your Pocket Day by reading poems and sharing them with co-workers, family, friends, and even strangers.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Helen Keller, 1888 Photo Found and a Personal Experience

(This 1888 photo released by the New England Historic Genealogical Society in Boston shows Helen Keller when she was eight years old, left, holding hands with her teacher, Anne Sullivan, during a summer vacation to Brewster, Mass., on Cape Cod. A staff member at the society discovered the photograph in a large photography collection recently donated to the society. When Sullivan arrived at the Keller household to teach Helen, she gave her a doll as a present. Although Keller had many dolls throughout her childhood, this is believed to be the first known photograph of Helen Keller with one of her dolls.

--AP Photo/Courtesy of the Thaxter P. Spencer Collection, R. Stanton Avery Special Collections, New England Historic Genealogical Society-Boston)

By MELISSA TRUJILLO, Associated Press Writer

Thu Mar 6, 6:14 AM ET


BOSTON - Researchers have uncovered a rare photograph of a young Helen Keller with her teacher Anne Sullivan, nearly 120 years after it was taken on Cape Cod. The photograph, shot in July 1888 in Brewster, shows an 8-year-old Helen sitting outside in a light-colored dress, holding Sullivan's hand and cradling one of her beloved dolls.

Experts on Keller's life believe it could be the earliest photo of the two women together and the only one showing the blind and deaf child with a doll — the first word Sullivan spelled for Keller after they met in 1887 — according to the New England Historic Genealogical Society...


More on Helen Keller

____________________________

I have always admired Helen Keller, the way she was handed two major life challenges and still managed to become one of the greatest thinkers of the 20th Century. Of course, Annie Sullivan should receive much of the credit--two great women coming together and changing the world--at least in the way that showed that so-called handicaps could be overcome and even used in positive ways. In another family, Helen Keller might have been hidden away and viewed as subhuman, a great mind locked away forever.

I have a bit of a personal angle here.

As a child, I think I met Helen Keller, but I'm not 100% sure, so I'll just tell my story and let you, my readers, decide.

It was early 1957; I was just six, living in Alhambra, California, in a boarding house with my mother and stepfather, who were trying to save their marriage. (Why we had to live in a boarding house for that purpose, I'll never know, but it didn't work--another story).

As boarding houses go, it was a pretty nice place. The owner and her daughter were very loving people who made me feel welcome and safe at a time when I was very unhappy and somewhat naughty (their neighbors ended up building a fence because I was beating up on their kid).

Although I don't remember their names, I do remember the owner reading me stories at night and making sure I had a goodnight kiss and was properly tucked in--the kind of love that all kids need and deserve. I'll never forget her face and will always be grateful to this stranger who treated me, a paying guest, like family.

The daughter introduced me to the joy of tacos and also taught me how to make them. She also allowed me to watch as she built a frame for her slip, a kind of plastic Rube Goldberg device that allowed teenage girls to swing around in those those pouffy poodle skirts.

We stayed a few months, almost a lifetime for a six year old, but most of the guests were short term; people seemed to come and go all the time, and being used to moving around all the time, I didn't think too much about it.

One day, two new guests arrived, an elderly woman with a cane and her assistant.

The owner introduced them to me, but, again, I don't remember names--which is why I can't be definitive about who I met back then.

The owner told me that the lady with the cane was deaf and blind, but added, "She can hear you with her fingers."

The woman said something to me and with help from her assistant reached out to me and touched my neck.

I remember being frightened (I'm also ticklish).

"It's okay," the assistant said. "Just introduce yourself."

The woman gently touched my neck.

So I said, "I'm Jennifer."

"Hello, Jennifer." Her fingers still on my neck. It's strange, but when she touched me, I was no longer afraid, nor did her touch tickle me.

Still, I couldn't figure out how she knew what I had just said. I blurted out, "How'd you do that?"

She just laughed. "My fingers are my ears."

Needless to say, I was totally fascinated and taken with this woman who could neither see or hear. Even then, I understood the obstacles this lady must have faced; still, her fingers were gentle and tactile, even though I didn't understand how vibrations could be translated into words.

She and her assistant stayed just a few days, but whenever they were around, I was a total pill, hanging close by, yakking at this lady and trying to figure out how she was able to communicate.

This is what I remember: My new friend (and her assistant) explained to me that she was able to "hear" me through her fingers because the voice makes certain sounds which then translates into certain words. But most of the time we just talked about mundane "kid" topics, and I soon forgot about her "handicaps." In the way that kids seem to do, I adjusted quickly to her reaching for my neck and soon didn't even think twice about it. Yet, had anyone else reached for my neck, I would have screamed and squealed.

Fifty-one years later, I still don't know how this extraordinary lady was able to communicate so easily with a hyper six year old whose nickname at that time was "The Question Box." But she did, and even tried to answer my incessant and annoying "why this and why that" questions.

When the lady and her assistant were packing up to leave, I bawled and begged them not to go. But people have their lives and must move on. Even then, I understood loss on many levels, and this lady seemed to understand that. Her goodbye was gentle but definitive.

If the woman I met was Helen Keller, I'm not sure why she was in Alhambra or why she was staying in that particular boarding house. I can only guess that she was in Alhambra for a seminar or speaking engagement.

I like to think that the blind-deaf woman I met was Helen Keller, but no matter who she was, she had a huge impact on my life.

Come to think of it, maybe it doesn't matter at all who she was.

It sure didn't back then.

Best, Jennifer

________________________________

Friday, March 7, 2008

Slightly Off-topic: C'mon, Cut Gloria Steinem a Break...


Michelle Malkin, author of Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild, is the epitome of conservatism gone totally loony--definitely not the "compassionate conservatism" touted by our own George W. Bush.

Quote from Malkin's 5 March 2008, column, The Death Cry of Gloria Steinem:

"From once-ripe feminist icon to idea-barren harridan, [Gloria Steinem] offers nothing to young women but anachronistic man-hate, anti-military bigotry and woe-is-me wallowing."

Huh?

I would like to remind Ms. Malkin and other pipsqueaks like her that she enjoys a certain status because of brave women like Gloria Steinem--that Malkin enjoys the right to spew vitriol (and get paid plenty for it, thank you) at a national level.

Thirty-seven years ago, Ms. Steinem showed great courage in publishing Judy Brady's (Syfer's) seminal essay I Want a Wife in Ms Magazine; she took a lot of heat from the establishment, good-old-boy network who accused feminists of not knowing their "true" place: in the bedroom, nursery, and kitchen and out of the boardroom.

I'm not even going to bother quoting anything else from Malkin's spew--the quote above pretty much sums up the entire tone of Malkin's "article."

But the hatred and prejudice exhibited in the 21-word spew (I counted the hyphenated terms as one word) makes one wonder if women's rights have taken a giant leap backwards.

Let's deconstruct that sentence:

1. The word "harridan" suggests that "old" women no longer have value in our culture. An "old" woman with a viewpoint should just shut the hell up and let the young decide what is best. Ageism.

2. "Once-ripe" suggests that youth and physical beauty are the only attributes that offer women the right to speak out and be movers and shakers. Aegism and Lookism.

3. "Idea-barren" is simply the inverse of #2. It is also imprecise because Gloria Steinem is still a mover and shaker and will be remembered long after Michelle Malkin has faded into the sunset. Ageism. Also, "barren" suggests a prejudice against women who cannot or choose not to bear children.

4. "Man-hate" is also imprecise; Steinem has never stated that she hates men. In fact she enjoyed a long-term marriage to, guess what? a MAN!

5. "Anachronistic." Interesting word choice, one that I would not exactly associate with liberal thinking. Hmmmm. Somehow, GWB pops into mind, along with "ineffective," "ignorant," "narrow-minded," etc.

6. "Anti-military." Interesting term, perhaps a bit overstated. Ms. Malkin seems to equate anti-Iraq war with being anti-military. Most reasonable people accept the reality that the U.S. needs to maintain a strong military; however, it is our right to protest what we feel is an unjust war, while, at the same time, supporting our troops and hoping that our young men AND young women (take note, Ms. Malkin) come home alive and without too much psychological damage.

7. "Bigot: one intolerantly devoted to his or her own church, party, or opinion." Merriam-Webster Dictionary." If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck..., well you figure it out. In short, "Bigotry" is a word that should be used sparingly and precisely, not just tossed around like confetti.

8. I have never read anything by Ms. Steinem that has had a "woe-is-me" tone, nor does she "wallow"; she is a person who gets things done, and she does it in ways that are empowering.

Do I agree with everything Gloria Steinem says? Of course not, but I respect the way she has helped women find their collective voice.

Michelle Malkin, you should kiss Gloria Steinem's feet; your current position is possible because of her and others like her.

Tomorrow is International Women's Day. Rejoice and celebrate.

Jennifer

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Off Topic: My Support Goes to Hillary Clinton


As a Pennsylvania resident, I have decided to support Hillary Clinton.

I am NOT adamantly against Barack Obama, and if he is ultimately selected as the Democratic candidate, I will support him fully and enthusiastically. I like him, but I just feel it's Hillary's time.

To back up my support, I have set up a Hillary Clinton website: PresidentHC.com.

I hope to recruit 100 blog team members (explained on the site). I am not asking for money, nor will there be any advertising on this site. This is purely a grassroots effort. If you are interested, feel free to visit this site. It's still pretty much under construction, but I plan to work on it this weekend (along with updating the war dead for February on my It's JUST War! site).

If you're supporting Obama as the Democratic candidate, that's okay. I respect your right to support whoever you wish. But if you're on the fence, check out the site, and come back often.

From PresidentHC.com:

I am a registered Independent and have been for years.

I have decided to re-register as a Democrat; for me this is a momentous decision because I have prided myself on my lack of party affiliation, my free-wheeling political independence.

However, Pennsylvania may very well decide the Presidential Democratic primary, and, ultimately, the presidency. I would be very upset with myself if Hillary lost a delegate by one vote, so I'm doing something about it now.

If you live in Pennsylvania (or any other closed-election state that hasn't yet held its primary or caucus), please think about the difference you could make by changing your party affiliation.

I have downloaded the proper forms and printed them out; I will be filling them out TODAY.


Best,

Jennifer

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Political Smackdown in Pennsylvania?


Hillary Clinton has pulled off a significant victory on "Junior Tuesday," coming back from the brink and keeping her candidacy viable; once again, she has surprised political pundits and naysayers by rising from the ashes, albeit still hobbling slightly behind Barack Obama.

I'm no political guru, but I do live in Pennsylvania, and already the buzz is reaching a fevered pitch.

Hillary or Barack? Who knows?

All I can say: this is the most exciting election year since 1960 when a young upstart named John F. Kennedy turned conventional wisdom on its ear and became the first President born in the 20th Century. (Back then, being young was viewed as an impediment; being young meant listening to your elders and not questioning the establishment. How attitudes changed in a few short years, starting with JFK's bold political campaign against Richard Nixon, a seasoned and well-connected politician.)

Could Barack Obama pull off one the most major wins of the 21st Century, becoming the first African-American President?

What an exciting possibility!

I must admit: right now, I'm leaning toward Hillary, but I would also be happy with Barack.

In any case, should Hillary Clinton win the presidency, we have not heard the last of Barack Obama; he has a bright political future ahead, barring any unforeseen circumstances.

Best of all: No More Bush.

No more Bush. No more Bush. No more Bush. No more Bush. No more Bush.

NO MORE BUSH!

But I digress.

For the next few weeks, Pennsylvania is likely to be swarmed with national media, candidates and their supporters, rallies, and incessant buzz. Once seen as irrelevant in this election year, Pennsylvania may actually emerge as "the decider state." It's too soon to tell for sure; a lot can happen in five weeks.

One thing for sure: Pennsylvania is likely to be a bloody political ground, with lots of negative campaigning and ads.

A Hillary-Barack smackdown.

If the opponents can make it through the political bloodbath without suffering fatal injury (metaphorically speaking), Pennsylvania may also have a hand in finalizing the Democratic ticket: Clinton-Obama or Obama-Clinton.

IMHO, either configuration would equal victory in November.

That alone would be cause for celebration.

However, in election year 2008, one thing is for sure: nothing is for sure.

Conventional wisdom be damned.

;=)

Best,

Jennifer

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Spoon River Poetry Review: Update


UPDATE:

The Spoon River Poetry Review contest page is up to date, announcing the winners of the 2006 and 2007 winners and the deadline for the 2008 contest.

Bruce Guernsey, the new editor, has completed Volume XXXII, Numbers 1 and 2 (contest issue with the 2007 winners). In the contest issue (which he sent to me), Mr. Guernsey explains the contest process--definitely a positive step.

;=)

I wish more contest directors would consider opening up to their subscribers and contest entrants, thus being more transparent.

If you entered the 2007 contest, you should have received your contest issue by now; if not, just get in touch with Mr. Guernsey. He has been very pleasant in his dealings with Post Foetry and seems to want to do the right things for his readers.

Best,

Jennifer

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

SPAM LIT POETRY: Selling Tools on the Internet



Thick,

long

tools

are a

woman's

favorite

instruments

* * * * *

* * * *

* * *
. . .
. .
v
___________________

(And men's too!)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Jimmy Behrle Cartoon Found on the Poetry Foundation Home Page....



...Along with Ted! Jorie! Louise! Paul! Billy! Rita!

See Jimmy's cartoon in context here!

Cool cartoon, BTW!

Congrats!

Best,

Bugzi

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Grammar Grievance ?

Please dear readers and writers, help me out here:

"Between you and I"
is found in the lyrics of at least 3 popular contemporary songs; I am quite fond of one of those sangs. But by my lights: between is a preposition, and therefore, both "you" and "X" are objects of that preposition. I believe that the correct phrasing is: "between you and me."

Am I wrong? Am I sometimes wrong?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Spamlette of the Day: It's Easy Being Green


That DreamWorks ogre’s skin is the color of money after all.

--Courtesy of an enhancement spam

Thursday, February 14, 2008

More Sophisticated Spam, Scam, and Scram Schemes: Warning!

UPDATE!

(See note at end)



No snark and no jokes here, but just a warning:

Scammers have developed the so-called "Nigerian" scam to a whole new level by adding bonafide links to real news stories about actual companies. The scammer then inserts him or herself as a CEO or other high official in the company.

This probability that this person is a scammer: 99.9999999%

The message here: if it's too good to be true, then run like the wind. Don't allow basic human greed to overrule common sense.

If you are savvy in these matters, this message isn't for you, but if you have ever been tempted to bite, here's a sample message (They tend to be formulaic and filled with grammatical gaffes) and some future scamming trends to watch:

*

FROM [Deleted--the name is likely false or hijacked.]

THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OF YUKOS OIL

CEO:
[Deleted--the name is likely false or hijacked.]

RUSSIA .

Dear Friend
[A definite red flag--why is he emailing a stranger?] ,

I got your contact address after my extensive search via your country white pages [Nope. Highly unlikely], for a God-fearing and trust-worthy person to bestow this transaction which is the only hope of survival [Why is "Greed" and "Godliness" such a seductive combination?]. When i got your address, I prayed and meditated fervently over it and i committed it into the hands of God that you should be the rightful person to help me .

Permit me to seek your attention in so informal a manner. I am [DELETED], the chief executive of Yukos to MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY, the richest man in Russia , Chairman CEO: YUKOS OIL (Russian Largest Oil Company). I seek your partnership in an urgent financial business of US$18 Million. .

My Boss MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY was arrested in October 2003 for his involvement in politics and the financing of opposing political parties which posed a treat to President Vladimir Putin's second tenure in 2004 as Russian president.

You can read more of this on the web sites below:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4459395.stm

[This link is bonafide; I checked it by going to the main BBC site--www.bbc.co.uk AND www.BBC.com--and then going to the news page by clicking on "news" in the left panel. I then typed in "Yukos Oil" in the site search box, and pulled up a story about Yukos oil.]

[If you don't know a sender, never link directly to an email embedded in a message. There are many scam "look-alike" sites that may contain a "typo" of a real site, such as "troffic" for "traffic."]

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0931561.html

[This, too, is a bonafide story, but I recommend staying off this site because it's spammy with lots of annoying ads that redirect you away from your target page.]

http://www.___________.com

[This is a website with unknown credibility, so I deleted it.]

The Russian Government had already concluded plans to freeze all corporate and personal accounts in the name of Mikhail Khodorkovsky.

However, in other to boost the investor confidence in the Russian Economy , We decided to approve the payment of millions of Dollars to all YUKOS OIL Contractors and Suppliers.

The Fund US$18M involved was approved by the Russian Authorities as part of payments to the various YUKOS OIL contractors/suppliers to prevent them from loosing the money they invested in the numerous contracts they executed for YUKOS OIL.

In my position as the chief executive of YUKOS OIL before I resigned on July 21, 2006, I raised a memo stating that YUKOS OIL owed US$18M to a foreign contractor and the Russian Authority have approved this amount for payment.

Actually, we have paid all our contractors both local and foreign because they agitated for their payment when they heard that my boss was arrested.

I now seek your consent to present you or your company as one of the contractors we owe so that you can stand as the beneficiary of the above sum.

I will furnish you with the necessary documents, which the payee bank will need to transfer the sum to your nominated account.

I have decided to use part of this sum to relocate my family out of Russia due to the present insecurity we face.

I cannot lay direct claims to this payment, as i need to present a foreign person or company to stand as the beneficiary.

This business is safe and we will be willing to reward you with 30% of the total sum for your partnership. As soon as I get your willingness to assist i will provide more details.

Please contact me immediately via my private secured email stated below giving your direct contact telephone and fax numbers.

[Of course I deleted Mr. Scammer's contact information.]

*

Scammers have always been around, and, as long as there are naive greedy people, these con men and women will continue to develop new and more sophisticated internet schemes.

For the future, look for these scam "improvements":

--Better writing. These scamsters will soon discover that the ungrammatical letter is no longer effective and may actually hire unsavory freelance writers to write polished letters for them.

--Better domain names. Believe it or not, many of the "premium" domain names are on so-called "parking lots." As "parking" becomes less lucrative (financially), look for some of these domains to be used for scam websites. My message here: just because a domain URL looks credible doesn't mean it is. Example: Whitehouse.com used to be a porn site (which eventually sold for millions; it is now a political site).

--More sophisticated websites: better graphics, layout, text, and navigation. Some computer functions can now be done automatically: feed in info, template, and graphics and spit out an attractive website. Even blogger gets easier and easier to use--I'm not that tech-savvy, but I find blogger very easy to use.

--Personalized emails to potential marks. The incorporation of "micro-scamming" has already infiltrated the domaining world. The scammer gets registration info from Whois and then tailors a message to the domain owner: "Your domain PostFoetry.com is about to expire; go to this link now to renew..."

The savvy domainers keep track of their expiration dates; however, there are enough newbies around that this scam seems to persist.

Expect micro-scamming to spread into other areas, such a writing and publishing. Most of us are already aware of bogus literary agents and publishers.

--Emails that hijack the names of people you know. It's not all that difficult to build a data base of paired names.

In short, do your research.

Don't be a dupe.

Best,

Jennifer

UPDATE: After I posted this entry, I checked my email and found a micro-spamming email that was specifically targeted to me (as a domainer); my email address appeared in the text of the email and was probably pharmed.

Read about this micro-scam here.

It's only a matter of time before this scam pervades other fields, including writing.


__________________

Copyright 2008, Jennifer Semple Siegel

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Internet Lotteries: The Luckiest Addy on Earth


I must be the luckiest girl in the world; in the past few months, this email addy has won sooooooooo many internet lotteries.

All I have to do is follow these steps.


1). Full Names:..................

2). Residential Address: ........

3). Occupation:..................

4). Sex:.........................

5). Phone/Fax Numbers:...........

6). Country of Resident:.........

7). Nationality: ................

8). Reference Number:............

9). Serial Number:...............

10). Amount Won:.................

11). Email Address:..............

12). A scan or Fax Copy of any Valid Proof of your Identification like International Passport or Driver's License:................


Yeah, I'll get right on that.

UPDATE:

Just discovered this disclaimer:

This email is confidential and contain privileged or copyright information. You must not present this message to another party. If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy, distribute or use this email or the information contained in it for any purpose other than to notify us.

So sue me.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Spam vs. Spam: Yours in Christ

Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire

West Africa

Dearest in Christ

I am Mrs D. [all names deleted] from Senegal. I was married to Mr. D. who worked with senegalaise company in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2002. We were married for eleven years without a child.

He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian.

Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $15.5Million in a Bank, this money is still in the Bank Presently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to Heart problem.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want a church or a God fearing individual that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth".

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not a Christians and they are heartless.

And I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers and wicked beings.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way.

This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.

I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord ...Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace".

I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always is suspicious.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.

Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

I have sent letter to the Bank Director,Instructed them to transfer the said fund to you for the mentioned purposes.

Contact the bank director Immediately and Identify yourself, Because I have already informed him that the said fund will be transfer to your account through my letter to him.

Any delay in your contacting the bank director give me room in sourcing another church or person for this same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. D.

Please kindly reach me through the following addres: [deleted]



____________________________________

My response (I have always wanted to do this!):

My Dear Mrs. D., Lover of Christ and all things Christian,

For the life of me, I cannot conjure up one church in America that would have an overflow of orphanages and widows in their congregations that would be able to put your fortune to Godly use; however, I absolutely understand why you would email a complete stranger to assist you.

If you cannot trust a stranger, who can you trust?

I am in the process of setting up a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands; in fact, it is so secret that even my relatives have no idea as to its existence. Like you, I am surrounded by nosy relatives who would conspire to steal my own growing inherited fortune. Therefore, I must also take precautions.

I, too, am terminally ill, for I am ultimately destined to ride that Speeding Train to Glory...

Given that I currently appear to be in robust health, I assure you that any monies remitted to me will be put to good use; you can lift up your spirit into the arms of The Good Shepherd, reassured that your late husband's fortune has been entrusted to a grateful earthly caretaker.

Remember, as the Good Book says in R1p0ff $4:@7... "It is better to give to Godly strangers than to bestow great wealth onto sleazy, opportunistic, and thieving relatives."

;=)

All I need from your Bank Director is your bank account number, along with a valid routing number. Let us not worry about my remitting my bank information directly to your Bank Director; after all, time is of the essence! No time for such unGodly delays!

In R1p0ff6 $15:5M, The Good Book offers this edict: "Thou Shalt Cut to the Chase! AAAYY-man!"

Once you have disposed of that onerous fortune in good order, you shall be able to catch that Holy Train to Heaven! Enjoy your peaceful and serene journey! God Speed!

Therefore, I beg your pardon for my sense of urgency: your Esteemed Director should remit such account information post haste to the official email address of this blog, which you already know given that you were kind enough to email me here.

On second thought, there is one other possible recipient: The Holy Church of the Taj Mahal, located in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Many desperate people (mostly housewives and elderly people, some of them most assuredly widows and orphans) find succor there. A part of your vast fortune would find a good home in the Church's coffers and would most certainly propagate the Name of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained, along with His one-armed statues and icons, maintained vigorously for His flock.

Of course, I shall be happy to act as Agent for this worthy cause.

I assure you that I will act accordingly as you Stated herein, with a few minor tweaks as specified above. Hoping to receive your account information soon.

You, too, remain blessed in the Lord as you contemplate your imminent Ride to Glory.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Bugzi

Spam Lit Poem: Male Aggregate Enhancement



Chap,

I

found

very amazing

thing and admire

to inform you about it.

Before I started to

use this thing

my male

aggregate was

too small so small

that I feel shy to speak

about the size.

But now my life has

changed. I increased my

instrument size, women like me

too mush that now I am

glad. P.S Today I can come

7 times for the night. Do you

fell the difference?


______________________________________________

(Thanks to Nomi, who receives spectacular spam)