WARNING (Off-topic): From the I.R.S.--NOT

On Sunday, I received the following piece of email purporting to be from the I.R.S.:



Over 130 million Americans will receive refunds as part of President Bush program to jumpstart the economy.

Our records indicate that you are qualified to receive the 2008 Economic Stimulus Refund.

The fastest and easiest way to receive your refund is by direct deposit to your checking/savings account.

Please click on the link and fill out the form and submit before May 19th, 2008 to ensure that your refund will be processed as soon as possible.

Submitting your form on May 19th, 2008 or later means that your refund will be delayed due to the volume of requests we anticipate for the Economic Stimulus Refund.

To access Economic Stimulus Refund, please click here.

[Link removed--should you click on this link, you would be directed to this site: www.smfarms.com/catalog/images/hewlett_packard/.refund.php--definitely not the I.R.S.

Gmail also removed the URL from "click here."]

© Copyright 2008, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.
__________________________________________

Despite some of the grammatical errors, this email is very convincing because the sent info specified "service@irs.gov" as the actual sender. To give gmail its just due, the message contained the following warning (Highlighted in bold red):

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more. [This link shows how you can check your gmails for validity.]

Here is the code I found when I clicked on to "Show original":

Delivered-To: [Deleted]
Received: by [Deleted] with SMTP id u1cs271976wfu;
Sun, 18 May 2008 10:23:31 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by [Deleted] with SMTP id [deleted];
Sun, 18 May 2008 10:23:30 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path:
Received: from dollman-enterprises.com (mail.dollman-enterprises.com [68.105.207.240])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP id h8si9853846wxd.26.2008.05.18.10.23.29;
Sun, 18 May 2008 10:23:30 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: fail (google.com: domain of service@irs.gov does not designate 68.105.207.240 as permitted sender) client-ip=68.105.207.240;
Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=hardfail (google.com: domain of service@irs.gov does not designate 68.105.207.240 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=service@irs.gov
Received: from User ([76.202.29.82]) by dollman-enterprises.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211);
Sun, 18 May 2008 13:23:28 -0400
From: "service@irs.gov"
Subject: 2008 Economic Stimulus Refund ( $1800 )
Date: Sun, 18 May 2008 12:24:23 -0500
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1251"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000
Bcc:
Return-Path: service@irs.gov
Message-ID:
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 18 May 2008 17:23:28.0887 (UTC) FILETIME=[E3464070:01C8B90B]
_______________________________

I must admit, this particular scam message caught my eye, although I did NOT fall for it.

Just remember: you need only to file your U.S. Federal tax return to receive your economic stimulus check.

Internet Lotteries: The Luckiest Addy on Earth

I must be the luckiest girl in the world; in the past few months, this email addy has won sooooooooo many internet lotteries.

All I have to do is follow these steps.


1). Full Names:..................

2). Residential Address: ........

3). Occupation:..................

4). Sex:.........................

5). Phone/Fax Numbers:...........

6). Country of Resident:.........

7). Nationality: ................

8). Reference Number:............

9). Serial Number:...............

10). Amount Won:.................

11). Email Address:..............

12). A scan or Fax Copy of any Valid Proof of your Identification like International Passport or Driver's License:................

Yeah, I'll get right on that.

UPDATE:

Just discovered this disclaimer:

This email is confidential and contain privileged or copyright information. You must not present this message to another party. If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy, distribute or use this email or the information contained in it for any purpose other than to notify us.

So sue me.

Spam vs. Spam: Yours in Christ

Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire

West Africa

Dearest in Christ

I am Mrs D. [all names deleted] from Senegal. I was married to Mr. D. who worked with senegalaise company in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2002. We were married for eleven years without a child.

He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian.

Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $15.5Million in a Bank, this money is still in the Bank Presently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to Heart problem.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want a church or a God fearing individual that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth".

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not a Christians and they are heartless.

And I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers and wicked beings.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way.

This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.

I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord ...Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace".

I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always is suspicious.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.

Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

I have sent letter to the Bank Director,Instructed them to transfer the said fund to you for the mentioned purposes.

Contact the bank director Immediately and Identify yourself, Because I have already informed him that the said fund will be transfer to your account through my letter to him.

Any delay in your contacting the bank director give me room in sourcing another church or person for this same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. D.

Please kindly reach me through the following addres: [deleted]


____________________________________

My response (I have always wanted to do this!):

My Dear Mrs. D., Lover of Christ and all things Christian,

For the life of me, I cannot conjure up one church in America that would have an overflow of orphanages and widows in their congregations that would be able to put your fortune to Godly use; however, I absolutely understand why you would email a complete stranger to assist you.

If you cannot trust a stranger, who can you trust?

I am in the process of setting up a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands; in fact, it is so secret that even my relatives have no idea as to its existence. Like you, I am surrounded by nosy relatives who would conspire to steal my own growing inherited fortune. Therefore, I must also take precautions.

I, too, am terminally ill, for I am ultimately destined to ride that Speeding Train to Glory...

Given that I currently appear to be in robust health, I assure you that any monies remitted to me will be put to good use; you can lift up your spirit into the arms of The Good Shepherd, reassured that your late husband's fortune has been entrusted to a grateful earthly caretaker.

Remember, as the Good Book says in R1p0ff $4:@7... "It is better to give to Godly strangers than to bestow great wealth onto sleazy, opportunistic, and thieving relatives."

;=)

All I need from your Bank Director is your bank account number, along with a valid routing number. Let us not worry about my remitting my bank information directly to your Bank Director; after all, time is of the essence! No time for such unGodly delays!

In R1p0ff6 $15:5M, The Good Book offers this edict: "Thou Shalt Cut to the Chase! AAAYY-man!"

Once you have disposed of that onerous fortune in good order, you shall be able to catch that Holy Train to Heaven! Enjoy your peaceful and serene journey! God Speed!

Therefore, I beg your pardon for my sense of urgency: your Esteemed Director should remit such account information post haste to the official email address of this blog, which you already know given that you were kind enough to email me here.

On second thought, there is one other possible recipient: The Holy Church of the Taj Mahal, located in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Many desperate people (mostly housewives and elderly people, some of them most assuredly widows and orphans) find succor there. A part of your vast fortune would find a good home in the Church's coffers and would most certainly propagate the Name of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained, along with His one-armed statues and icons, maintained vigorously for His flock.

Of course, I shall be happy to act as Agent for this worthy cause.

I assure you that I will act accordingly as you Stated herein, with a few minor tweaks as specified above. Hoping to receive your account information soon.

You, too, remain blessed in the Lord as you contemplate your imminent Ride to Glory.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Bugzi

Spam Lit Poem: II. List of Franklin Search Parties

II. List of Franklin Search Parties

Sculpting each tree to fit your ghostly form
The weight of being born into exile is lifted.
Green lilac buds appear that won't survive
Glimmering of light:
Escapees from the cold work of living,
They move against, or through, or by, or toward.
In realms of dingy gloom and deep crevasse
The paths of childhood.
Not so much of place as of renewed hope,
To listen, by the sputtering, smoking fire,
When Arctic winds crack down from Canada
Where, as I discover as I go through
And half-starved foxes shake and paw
As if your human shape were what the storm
Is the moon to grow
I've drifted somewhat from the distant heart
What? What can you do?
What is there in the depths of these walls

_______________

Spammer: Vincent Barron andy@aktifenerji.com

Spam Lit Poem: Ignoring the Critic

There is one way to handle the ignorant and malicious critic.
Ignore him.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
In a major matter no details are small.
Behold, I have refined thee,
but not with silver
I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. [Isaiah 48:10]
No such thing as a man willing to be honest --
that would be like a blind man willing to see.
Separation penetrates the disappearing person
like a pigment and steeps him in gentle radiance.
It is the duty of a doctor to prolong life
and it is not his duty to prolong the act of dying.
To understand the heart and mind of a person,
look not at what he has already achieved,
but at what he aspires to do.
We are all HIV-positive.
What is thine is mine, and all mine is thine.
Your friend is your field which you sow with love
and reap with thanksgiving.
Love is what you've been through with somebody.
A symphony is a stage play
with the parts written
for instruments instead of for actors.

_________________

Spam Lit Spammer: Tom Velasquez

E-mail address: duane.heidelnjbg@horsburghworld.com

Reaction to the DEC Spam of 1978 (courtesy of Gary Thuerk)

You might be amused to read the first spam message sent out by Gary Thuerk back in 1978, which doesn't seem all that long ago.

Brad Templeton's site offers the original message, address links to recipients, and some commentary.

Who would ever think that literature (or something resembling it) would play a part in spreading the dreaded viral disease of spam?

Have fun, kiddies.

Bugz

A Poetry Dot Com Rejection Letter

Hooray! This has to be one of the happiest days of my life: a rejection letter from Poetry dot com!!! I thought I'd share my rejection with the world (although I could have sworn that when I submitted "Squidoo, A Love Poem" a year ago, they wanted it oh-so-bad for one of their cheesy anthologies. No bites from this quarter, however). Anyway, for your reading amusement, I have reprinted their slurpy e-mail below:

______________________

Dear Jennifer,

Thank you for your submission to the International Open Amateur Poetry Competition. Unfortunately, after careful review of your contest entry, I am sorry to inform you that your poem "Squidoo, a love poem" was not chosen for publication and is no longer eligible for contest prizes [Boo, Hoo!]. We understand that poetry is a form of artistic expression and that it is not always understood by those who read it. Therefore, we are asking you to send us another example of your writing [I have deleted the link]. All you have to do is click on the button below [deleted] and follow the instructions.

Here are a few tips our editors give when reviewing poetry [Oh, yeah, poetry tips from the biggest foet organization around]:

--Establish a specific writing style (i.e. rhymed verse, blank verse, etc.)

--Establish a meter and follow it consistently throughout the poem(i.e. iambic pentameter)

--Use poetic elements (i.e. metaphor, simile, alliteration, assonance, consonance, etc.)

--Avoid using clichés

--Be original

Jennifer, by submitting another poem you will continue to compete with other amateur poets like yourself. You will also be eligible to win one of the many cash or gift prizes available every year to talented writers. During the last twenty years, the International Library of Poetry and its affiliated companies have awarded over two million dollars to poets from all over the world. Our philosophy has always been that poetry is a form of expression that is shared and enjoyed by many people of all skill levels. We believe that poetry should be part of our daily lives and shared by everyone, and so we hope you decide to share another piece of your writing with us soon. [When Hell freezes over.]

Good Luck,

Howard Ely

Managing Editor

______________

Well, Howie, my good friend, I think I shall take a pass; I no longer teach creative writing, so I don't have to prove that poetry dot com ought to be renamed www.poetry.scam to newbie writing students.

I rather like the "rejected" poem; it appears on my Wergle Flomp Squidoo Lens.

Maybe I'll submit it to The New Yorker.

Bugzy

Sawtooth Revisted: The Intrigue Ccontinues . . .

Buried in the comment section...

Spirit of Mallie said...

1. St. Mary's is unofficially affiliated with Sawtooth: Brenda Hillman and Graham Foust both teach there. The former "judged" a Sawtooth prize and the later "won" one. Three St. Mary's people. What ARE the chances?

2. Rusty will be publishing Bin Ramke's new book.

3. Hillman and Gander edit the California poetry series.

4. Gander is married to Wright.

5. And the list continues . . .

Thanks, Spirit of Mallie.

Bugz

Does Post Foetry Have a Future?

Maybe it's because it's summer, or, perhaps Al was right: it's possible Foetry has run its course. I reread the last few posts that I wrote, and I can see why readers aren't checking in and/or responding. Post Foetry isn't breaking new ground; in fact, in my opinion, we have taken a step backwards.

At least one comment suggests this fact.

I could just be cranky today; it's hot out, and I'm tired, but I'm getting the sense that writers like the status quo, even though it's a deeply flawed system. Certainly, pobiz benefits those in power, so there is little incentive for real change, unless...

The government gets involved and starts investigating some of these university and private elitist contests, which, in my opinion, are sophisticated versions of poetry.scam. I do believe that a day of reckoning is upon the horizon, but I, as a lonely dissenter, will not be the impetus for such an investigation. I have neither the money nor the ambition to sustain the ire and relentless investigation required of a whistle blower. Perhaps some government wonk will get up off his or her ass and start the ball rolling, but I'm not holding my breath. It will take a truly egregious scandal to get the attention of the right legislators. It will happen: if nothing else, pobiz powers have a bottomless capacity for self-deception--sooner or later, some narcissistic pobizer will piss off the wrong people (read: powerful).

Three years ago, Al, as a private citizen, did a damn good job of ruffling feathers, but he's only one person; even if you dislike him, he stirred up the pobiz and some changes did take place, but now he has had to move on and reclaim his life before Foetry.

I note that pobiz has pretty much lapsed back into its sloppy ways and slimy contest guidelines, but here's the deal: most of you are adults, and if you choose to support these bogus contests, then who am I (or anyone else) to stop you?

For the past few days, I have been doing some serious thinking about where I want to concentrate my limited energies, and I had to admit that it isn't here.

Therefore, I will no longer be updating contest guidelines; you're on your own now. Perhaps another fofighter will take up the fight. However, I'll keep this blog open for comments and team members should anyone have anything important to say.

Post Foetry has an opportunity to become a place where important ideas are discussed, but it isn't there yet, and it may never be there.

So be it.

I'll check in a few days from now.

Bugzita

Calling All Suckers! poetry.scam "Press Release"

Most Post Foetry readers know this scam well, but just in case you're new to this game, I offer you an important warning:

poetry(dot)com and other vanity press companies scam the media with advertising dressed up as press releases, such as the following:

* * * * *

[SPAM!] For Immediate Release

Free Poetry Contest [Except for the $49.99, plus shipping, to see it buried on page 755, UNLESS you pay extra, yadda, ydda, yadda...]

OWINGS MILLS, MD (USA) - Poetry (dot) com [a.k.a. The International Library of Poetry and other bogus names, too numerous to mention here] has announced that $58,000.00 in prizes will be awarded this year in the International Open Poetry Contest. Poets, particularly beginners [suckers], are welcome to try to win their share of over 250 prizes. The deadline for the contest is [blanked out]. The contest is open to everyone [and they mean anyone, even your cat or gecko or local caveman. Sorry, Geico] and entry is FREE [Though your poem will be published in a cheesy edition with thousands of other REALLY BAD poems, and you'll have to pay $49.99, plus shipping, to see it on page 755, UNLESS you pay extra, yadda, yadda, yadda...].

"Any poet, whether previously published or not, can be a winner," stated [the scamster, uh, Contest Director]. "When people learn about our free poetry contest, they suddenly realize that their own poetic works of art can win cash prizes, as well as gain national recognition [along with 5,000,000 other suckers]," continued [Gort, the evil contest director] .

To enter, send ONE original poem, any subject and any style to: [blanked out--you'll THANK me]. The poem should be 20 lines or less [Do you think we REALLY want to waste more than 20 lines of profit on your CRAP?], and the poet's name and address should appear on the top of the page. Entries must be postmarked or sent via the Internet by [blanked out]. You may also enter online at poetry(dot)com [Noted here only because you'll want to know what to avoid].

The International Library of Poetry, founded in 1982, is the largest poetry [scam] organization in the world. [For more information, see Bugzita's Squidoo lens on this scam]

* * * * *

Unfortunately, many media outlets fall for this ploy, thus perpetuating the myth that these outfits are community-minded and spirited, when, in fact, they are huge money-making machines--$12,000,000 per year--that prey on the hopes of the young and naive.

My Squidoo lens offers some good links to organizations that have spent careers documenting the activities of scam poem contests.

Best to all,

Bugzita