My post about the Utmost Christian Writers site/contest was not an endorsement. Neither is it intended as a snarky or hostile one.
I found them via the Winning Writers site-- the people who created the Wergle Flomp poetry contest which I admire greatly.
I will attempt to post a link to them.
http://www.winningwriters.com/index.php
Not being a Christian, I'm not submitting anything, but the "research" I did yesterday would not discourage me from sharing this resource with friends.
I agree completely with Jennifer here. If ANYONE has had a personal experience with these folks or is aware of any relevant reliable reporting about them, I welcome those comments.
Alas, we receive all too few comments.
Unrelated question: Why do I receive so much spam in Chinese or other languages whose alphabets I cannot decipher? Is it simply about erectile issues? Do people in China receive equal quantities of Spam in English?
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Spam Lit Poem: Anatomy of a Merged Poem Based on Proverbs
This Spam Lit poem, cobbled together with slightly familiar proverbs, arrived today in my spam box. The "poem" has a lovely resonance to it and seems to touch upon some of the thoughts and opinions of Post Foetry members. The poem even makes some sense, certainly more sense than some of the published poems I have read lately! I decided to research and then attribute each line to its creator.
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Nothing can be more contemptible than to suppose Public Records to be true.
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Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view.
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The best interviews -- like the best biographies -- should sing the strangeness and variety of the human race.
We only part to meet again.
Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrations and revolutionists.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
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A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
As you walk through the valley of the unknown, you will find the footprints of Jesus both in front of you and beside you.
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Memory moderates prosperity, decreases adversity, controls youth and delights old age.
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All doors open to courtesy.
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Conductors must give unmistakable and suggestive signals to the orchestra, not choreography to the audience.
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* * * * *
Nothing can be more contemptible than to suppose Public Records to be true.
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Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view.
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The best interviews -- like the best biographies -- should sing the strangeness and variety of the human race.
(Lynn Barber I'm not sure about this attribution)
-We only part to meet again.
(John Gay)
-Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrations and revolutionists.
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
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A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
(Socrates)
-As you walk through the valley of the unknown, you will find the footprints of Jesus both in front of you and beside you.
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He who fears to suffer, suffers from fear.
-Memory moderates prosperity, decreases adversity, controls youth and delights old age.
(Lactantius Firmianus (?), a.k.a. Lucius Caelius)
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All doors open to courtesy.
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Conductors must give unmistakable and suggestive signals to the orchestra, not choreography to the audience.
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It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously.-
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I throw out this challenge to our readers: either write your own Spam Lit poem or prose (sans advertising) OR submit one (again, without advertising) that appeared in your e-mail inbox or spam box. We'll publish the what we think is the best of the best (in other words, it doesn't matter who YOU are). I'd like to see some humor and satire as well.
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* * * * *
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Rules
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--Submission is free and open to everyone.
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--However, we probably won't publish every poem or prose we receive, especially if we receive duplicate submissions.
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--Selection of submission may depend on how well one follows rule #2.
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__________________
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1. Submit your Spam Lit here. Place your Spam Lit in the body of the e-mail (No attachments will be opened!)
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2. Attribute the line to its original author or poet (in parentheses just like I did above), and provide a verifying link. Submissions providing verifying links are more likely to see their submission published in this blog.
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3. No porn, gratuitous violence, hate speech, please. Such work will not be posted.
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4. Keep them short, no more than 39 lines (just in case someone wants to attempt a Spam Lit sestina) and about 250 words for prose.
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5. In the subject line, note Poem/Prose Submission; don't put "Spam" in the title; it might get kicked back to you.
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6. For now, the submission period is indefinite, but we reserve the right to close this offer at any time.
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7. NO prizes will be awarded and no payment offered.
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8. As long as you don't attach an ad or other blurb (other than your tag line), your e-mail will remain confidential; otherwise, all bets are off. Also, you may remain anonymous or be credited as the Spam Lit author or finder.
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9. If we don't get too many submissions, we'll acknowledge receipt; otherwise, we won't.
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I hope to see some fine Spam Lit!
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Bugzita
TWO Lexicoins
Before I hit the sack tonight, I stumbled upon two new lexicoins (neologisms/neoglisms?). In fact, I like one so much that I'm thinking of using it as a short story title:
n. (person) A young modern woman who has the appearance of being all prim and proper but who, in fact, has a dark soul.
n. (person) The young woman's mother.
Neither term (in quotation markers) shows up on Google.
Without quotations, "Ms. Malaproper" has about 12 Google hits, but none of them pertain to the entire term.
Without quotations, "Mrs. Malaproper" has about 7 Google hits, again none of them pertaining to the entire term.
By itself, "Malaproper" shows up about 230 times on Google, which includes my post from the other day.
According to TV Tropes Wiki,
The distinguishing characteristic of the Malaproper is that they constantly replace words with similar-sounding but wrong ones. A common form of this is for the Malaproper to mangle proverbs, idioms, and other figures of speech. They may turn them into something nonsensical, or use overly complicated synonyms that make them sound wrong; e.g., "The cat's out of the bag" becomes "The feline has been released from the sack!" This character will almost always be corrected, not that this does any good.
The meaning seems to shift when one includes the formal address, at least it seems so to me, hence my assigned meaning.
Of course, two-word lexicoins aren't as good as one-word ones, but certainly superior to three-word lexicoins.
For the next month or so, I'll be doing a word watch on the lexicoins discussed here. Meanwhile, let us know about your lexicoins.
Bugzita
Ms. Malaproper
n. (person) A young modern woman who has the appearance of being all prim and proper but who, in fact, has a dark soul.
Mrs. Malaproper
n. (person) The young woman's mother.
_______________________
Neither term (in quotation markers) shows up on Google.
Without quotations, "Ms. Malaproper" has about 12 Google hits, but none of them pertain to the entire term.
Without quotations, "Mrs. Malaproper" has about 7 Google hits, again none of them pertaining to the entire term.
By itself, "Malaproper" shows up about 230 times on Google, which includes my post from the other day.
According to TV Tropes Wiki,
The distinguishing characteristic of the Malaproper is that they constantly replace words with similar-sounding but wrong ones. A common form of this is for the Malaproper to mangle proverbs, idioms, and other figures of speech. They may turn them into something nonsensical, or use overly complicated synonyms that make them sound wrong; e.g., "The cat's out of the bag" becomes "The feline has been released from the sack!" This character will almost always be corrected, not that this does any good.
The meaning seems to shift when one includes the formal address, at least it seems so to me, hence my assigned meaning.
Of course, two-word lexicoins aren't as good as one-word ones, but certainly superior to three-word lexicoins.
For the next month or so, I'll be doing a word watch on the lexicoins discussed here. Meanwhile, let us know about your lexicoins.
Bugzita
SpamLit.com (in Progress): A Sample
Okay, so I'm working on my Spam Lit web page (which I'll post tomorrow--I never do web page posting when I'm tired. I'm still not very adept at this process, and I once submitted five pages without their images), and I run across this really cool site:
Hilarious! Literal spam haiku has to be one of the most brilliant ideas for the discerning literature wonk.
This site takes a literal view of Spam Lit and applies it to the Hormel version of Spam and real and imaginary literary figures.
This is one of the most brilliant sites I have seen (although the backgound is a bit too busy. Yikes!).
For example (with apologies to webmaster John Nagamichi Cho):
SHAM-27.
To appreciate the full effect, you just have to visit this site and read all the haiku.
Hilarious! Literal spam haiku has to be one of the most brilliant ideas for the discerning literature wonk.
This site takes a literal view of Spam Lit and applies it to the Hormel version of Spam and real and imaginary literary figures.
Spamlette? Spam Letters?
This is one of the most brilliant sites I have seen (although the backgound is a bit too busy. Yikes!).
For example (with apologies to webmaster John Nagamichi Cho):
SHAM-27.
Psychologists think Sartre
wrote Nausea because
His mom fed him SPAM.
Bugzita
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